Happy Holidays!! Love, Jane xo

     I'm sitting on my cozy couch watching Ginger Rodgers, vivid with glamour even in black and white. By the itty-bitty colored lights of our tiny Christmas tree, I'm ticking the last few things off my holiday to-do list.  And thanking the Lord for the convenience of internet shopping and express shipping!
     I haven't done very much at all in the way of writing lately. I haven't done much of anything at all lately. I've been bed-ridden with fevers, sometimes losing hours to black dreams and feeling deliriously confused. In eight weeks I've lost twenty-two pounds, not being able to keep anything down, repulsed by even the smell of food. Even though things look fairly grim regarding my health, I'm refusing to give up my fight to be home for Christmas this year! The nurses are coming every day for IV treatments at my home in an attempt to keep me stable, but the infection rages on. I missed my son's Christmas concert this week, which broke both our hearts. 
     But my son came home. 
     If you've seen the world news, you know of the tragic shooting down in Connecticut where so many small children lost their lives. I cannot begin to imagine the magnitude of that loss. I cry just thinking about those children and their families. Parents who have closets full of presents, waiting for the little hands that will never come home to open them. I cry thinking about how every time the holidays come around which are meant for family, love and laughter - they will only be haunted by these wretched memories. My heart aches for them.
     Our neighborhood suffered a different kind of blow last week as well. My son's principal was arrested as part of a drug trafficking ring. He watched over our kids the last few years. Even played hockey with my father and brother. Arrested along with twenty-seven others (including a doctor and other reputable members of the community) they also found two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in dope paraphernalia, a hundred thousand in cash and five guns when they raided there drug house.
    My son was shaken by both of these horrid events and asked me the questions I couldn't answer. 'Why would someone do such a thing? I thought we were supposed to trust our teachers?' How can I make him feel better when the world seems big and scary even to me?! 
I wish I could gather him up in my arms and home school him until he turns eight-teen and then ship him off to college in full body armor. 
     What I do know is this holiday season I'm with the people in the world I love more than anything. I know there will be singing and dancing, laughing at comic holiday movies, surprises from Santa and riots of good cheer as we ring in the new year. I also know now that I will have all of this whether I'm in my bed at home or in a hospital bed or anywhere at all. I had been so focused on hoping and praying and wishing to be home for Christmas that I did not realize that I'll already have everything I could ever ask for no matter where I am. I plan on being  grateful for every minute.
      People often ask me how I keep my spirits up. I understand that my illness is  an awful and scary obstacle sometimes. But how could I be sad or depressed when I feel like the luckiest person in the world in every other way?
     I hope you all have a wonderful holiday however you are celebrating! Enjoy the scrumptious food, the shiny eyes of excited children, the fun of watching the opening of gifts, the crackling fire and twinkling lights. Above all, appreciate all you have and those you share it with. Hug  your loved ones a little tighter, let your kisses linger longer and know that the biggest gift of all is being able to love them and hold them close.  

*Merry Christmas!*
             *Seasons Greetings!* 
                            *Happy Holidays!*

Love,

Jane xo

Holiday Wish List Extravaganza!

 
   I have been doing one of my favorite things - buying people presents! And I'm darn good at it too. My son is going to go bananas this Christmas! I've also been inspired by Pinterest to make some gifts for my girlfriends. It's been really fun! And so easy. I definitely suggest trying this. Maybe after the holidays I will show you what I've been up to. Have to keep those gifts hush hush! Even if you aren't crafty, you would be surprised at all the amazing things you can make yourself at home.  All this gifting has got me wondering...
What would be my perfect Holiday Wish List?!


Dear Santa, 
     All I want for Christmas is:

bliss super slough scrub 

My bottle is almost empty! This big blue bottle will be your new best friend. The fresh, clean, 'awake' scent is heaven on it's own. But with those little blue beads doing their job to buff and slough off dry skin, this scrub means business. I swear to you nothing is more refreshing on a hot summer day than a temperate shower and this invigorating body scrub to wake up you and your new silky smooth skin!

NAKED2

PALETTE          

I have been drooling over this Urban Decay infamous eye shadow palette forever. The pigment is ultra rich and goes on whisper light and stays put all day and all night. I like the Naked2 palette over the original because it has kept all the golds and tawny browns that are great for day, plus has a jet-black and some grays to glam it up with a smokey eye for night! 

Studded Zipper Riding Boot

URBANOG.COM       

This may kinda be cheating because I kinda know they are kinda in a box in my mother's closet downstairs. Buy hey! They are still most definitely on my wish list. I love the brown slouchy boot with the buckles, but the studded inlay with the zipper detail gives it edge. These will be great for winter and they will even be fun to amp up some girly dresses when the warm weather arrives.

Polaroid 10-Megapixel Instant Print Digital Camera Z2300B with ZINK Zero Ink Printing Technology 

Whew! This tiny camera packs way more punch than just it's long winded name. It's pretty much the most awesome camera ever! If you're like me, and most people I know, we take a zillion pictures these days for twitter, facebook, texting, instagram, yadda yadda...But rarely (if ever!) do we get them developed for display or framing. Not anymore! This amazing little super guy prints your digital color pics for you - instantly! How awesome is that?!

Table Top Cotton Candy Maker

Need I say more?! It's no secret that I have a major sweet tooth but dentists - beware! If I had this little lovely at home, I would be whipping up colorful cotton candy at every occasion. Bag it for Halloween trick-or-treaters, for birthday treat bags, as party favors and any other event. Like, how about, 3pm? Three o'clock? I'll celebrate it! Bring on the cotton candy!

This would definitely be my Ultimate Holiday Wishlist! What items for your ultimate wishlist will you dream up? I would love to hear! To tell me all about them, 'Like' my Facebook Page. I always love messages and comments! The holidays are among us! Today is the first day of Chanukah and there are only 12 days left until Christmas! Happy Holidays and happy gifting everyone! <3 

Jane xo

      (and mistletoe :)


*NEW* added Dec 12/12
 Tonight my son sat down to write his list to the big guy at the North Pole. Like I said, I'm so excited for him! I think this will be his best Christmas yet. I was reading over his list and at the very end I came across a post script he had written which said, "Dear Santa, can you please send my mother a vintage typewriter like she's always wanted." Of course, my heart melted! My perfect little man thinking of his mama. Naturally, he was right, too! I've always wanted one since my grandmother let me borrow this amazing blue typewriter when I was younger. I absolutely had to add a Vintage Typewriter to my Ultimate Holiday Wishlist! :) 

P.S. Of course, above all the cotton candy in the world, I just want to be home to enjoy the holidays with my friends & family. This list is just for fun and full of things I love and think are awesome. ;) 

Checking In - An Update December 12, 2012

     I wanted to just write a quick note to let you know where I've been hiding! I'm sorry about the lack of posts but stay tuned - I have some pretty good stories lined up. Hopefully I'll be writing a great one in January about how amazing my Christmas was this year!
     I adore soaking up those magical two weeks between Christmas and New Year's filled with snowy boots, laughter and family. Nothing makes me happier than cuddling up with my boy watching Yukon Cornelius, Charlie Brown, Kevin McCallister and all the Christmas classics by the colorful cozy glow of the tree with a large mug of Egg Nog. 
     And yet, every year as the seasons come and go, it never fails - that when the weather changes, my symptoms erupt like clockwork. Every October and every March I'm sick and most likely in the hospital. I have missed six of the past seven holiday festivities and countless birthday celebrations.

    Last year, since I had just been moved to a general nursing unit from the ICU four days earlier, I spent Christmas in the hospital. It's kind of funny though, looking back. All things considered, it was as great as a Christmas could be there. My family and friends really made it special. I had a little tree, little twinkle lights, little presents and a lot of love. 

     Now it's one year later. Back in October I fell terribly sick with a fever. I was nauseous, dizzy and delirious for days. At one of my bi-weekly treatments at clinic my doctor did blood tests, x-rays and everything else under the sun. The doctor called me that night and told me to go straight to Emergency. My blood cultures had grown two bad bacteria (gram negative rods if you're savvy and something else I can't remember) and I was in a state of septic shock. I was put on extensive IV antibiotics for ten days before I was allowed home. Everything seemed to be going great. Until two weeks later. It happened again. Two weeks after that - again. They have CT Scanned, MRI'd and Ultra Sounded me every which way and my doctors cannot find where the infection is in my body that is getting into my blood stream and causing me to go septic. I always say that if the rest of my life wasn't so wonderful, I'd be the unluckiest person I know!
    I'm keeping high hopes and sending even higher prayers that I will be home with my family this year. I want to be there for everything! The decorating, the baking, the visiting, Santa, the tree and all of that tinsel sparkle and holiday magic. If it comes down to it though, I'd settle for a Christmas Eve/ Christmas Day overnight pass from the hospital. Fingers crossed!
   
 I hope you all are feeling the tingle of rosy cheeks and holiday cheer as much as I am! 

   Jane xo
 
   

December 5th, 2012 - Update

Hello everyone! 

As you may have noticed, I have not written anything new for weeks. I was admitted into the hospital for two weeks (with no internet!) over the past month. It was a serious emergency, but luckily for me I have two of the most amazing doctors who quickly got me back on my feet. I've been writing the past few days so I'm hoping to have a post to put up over the weekend. In the meantime, read your favorites and follow me on Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook.

Jane xo

www.Facebook.com/janespringpage

www.Twitter.com/@missjanespring

www.Pinterest.com/missjanespring

It's Cold Outside. Read A Book November 16th, 2012

       I have been spending so much time reading lately. Reading in the hospital because renting a television costs $13.57 a day. (Yes, per day. How sick is that? Pardon the pun.) Reading in waiting rooms. Reading during my three hour treatments. Reading for inspiration.      
       A few weeks ago, I decided to tackle the small pile of books I had bought but had never gotten around to reading. I purchased so many newer books they became somewhat forgotten about. 
       The first of these is a book by Kristin Hanna titled Magic Hour. This book soaked me up like a sponge. It was so good that as soon as I had finished it, I ran down to my parent's apartment and told my mother she just HAD to read it. Yesterday, she gave it back looking exhausted. She had stayed up the entire night reading it. On a work night. Yes - it is that good! 
       One of my favorite things about a great book is sharing it with your friends and family. I get so excited when they also enjoy it and can talk about the story. I decided to put together a small list of the top three favorite books I have read so far this fall. I promise - you'll eat these up like Thanksgiving dinner. 

The Secret Life Of CeeCee Wilkes by Diane Chamberlain

This author never disappoints. I have read six of her books but the first, and by far my favorite, was The Secret Life Of CeeCee Wilkes. You will understand after having read it why I can't walk by any one of her books without buying it. This story starts with sixteen year old CeeCee Wilkes. She is a backwoods, small town waitress who is in love for the first time. She is blindly lead into a criminal plot with her boyfriend that spins wildly out of control. She is forced to run, change her name, and live out her life in secret. Decades later, the boyfriend is on death row - and CeeCee Wilkes is the only person who knows what really happened. This book will have you turning pages long into the night. So, get comfy, grab a cup of tea and a cozy blanket and be swept up in the intrigue. This book will have your pulse racing long after the last page.

Iron Lace by Emilie Richards

Emilie Richards has written many novels, but this is the first one that I have read. Set in New Orleans, Louisiana, 1975, the tone of the story is thick with politics, war, and racism. 
It was the beginning of modern ways, and most elders were lead kicking and screaming from the barbaric old rituals. Aurore  Gerritsen is not one of them. The matriarch of her family is living out the last of her life in her mansion. Her great grandparents started successful businesses that has kept her family wealthy for generations. Before she dies, she invites a young talented journalist to write the story of her life. Although at first reluctant, Phillip Benedict is swept up in the old lady's world, but nothing could have prepared him for the impact of Aurore's revelations. This book is so vivid, you will swear you've seen a visual video instead of words on a page. 

Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah
When I think of all the months this book has been right under my nose not being read, I could kick myself. The story begins with Dr. Julia Cates, an expert child psychiatrist, who moves back home to the Pacific Northwest into her family home with her sister, Sheriff Ellie Cates. One morning, from deep withing the heavy growth forest of the Olympic National Park, a six year old girl appears. She cannot speak and offers no clue to her identity. I really don't want to shed light on much more of this novel except that it will push your limits, emotionally. For the last hundred pages I cried. I was a bigger blubbering mess than a theatre full of women after a showing of The Notebook. Not that this is that kind of love story. I can't say anything more other than - Go buy this book. Now!
  


Finally, I want to thank you all for all the amazing feedback and compliments. I never could have imagined in a million years that my stories would be read over 10,000 times in under six months. Thank you :)

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October 31st, 1990 Halloween

       Halloween brings back such mixed emotions for me. I love getting the house all decorated and helping my son with his costume. I love trick or treating with him out in the brisk autumn air with leaves crackling beneath our feet.

       When I was little, trick or treating down my road on the way to my grandfather’s house was my very favorite thing about Halloween. I loved how the air always smelled of chimney smoke and how there were children running house to house in a fit of giggles. He always had the best candy and would save me extra of my favorite molasses kisses. I’m pretty sure I’m probably the only person I have ever met who likes to eat those impossible to chewy treats.

       The best thing about Halloween itself, of course, was the pillowcase full of chips, rockets, lifesavers, aero bars, double bubble, tootsie pops, chocofudge, fun-dip and, if you were really lucky, maybe a can of soda pop. I would kick off my boots and lay claim to a big spot on my living room carpet and dump out my treats to survey the goods, dividing them into groups and making piles of the bad ones to pass off to my little brother. Halloween was also the gift that kept on giving because you knew you would have a candy treat every day for recess for at least the next month or so.

       Then in third grade I got diagnosed with my illness. I was pale as a ghost and all skin and bones. I had just had my very first surgery. I was so uncomfortable sitting in school that my mother made me a pillow to take for the chair at my desk. It was white and blue with Paddington bear on it. Every time I think of myself as that sick and lonely little girl, I want to give her a hug and tell her it is going to be okay and we’re going to have a rough life but we’ll get through it, I promise. It was horrible the way my most of my old class mates stayed clear of me as if I could infect them with all the terrible things that were happening to me.

       When October rolled around, the buzz started about the class Halloween party, costumes, candy and about who was brave enough to watch their older brothers horror movies. I was being tube feed all my nutrition at the time, so the last thing I wanted to do was be around all the festivities and not be allowed to so much as taste anything. I thought my mother would understand but she had a whole different idea.

       My mother decided that even though I wasn't living the ideal “normal” childhood that it was still important for me to participate in children’s pastimes when I was well enough so I didn't look back and regret it when I was older. Well, I’m older. And I still regret the Halloween of third grade.

       Since I would not be allowed to eat all the candy, potato chips and class party pizza, mom took me to Walter’s Party Rentals convinced that I should have the best costume ever so I would excited to wear it for the party and around trick or treating. She rented an amazing Miss Piggy costume. It wasn't a plastic mask or rubber head piece, it was as if it were the real Miss Piggy only I was inside. I was so excited to have the perfect costume that I pushed all my frustrations aside and started to get swept up in Halloween.

       Halloween day came around. Besides the pangs of envy over everyone eating at the party, I was admitting to myself on the way home from trick or treating that I was glad mom convinced me to go out today. My little brother and I were just finishing up the last houses in our neighborhood. The autumn night was mild and the tape that held my feeding tube in place was getting annoying and itchy under my heavy mask. I decided to take if for the walk home. We were cutting through the hole in our playground fence when my brother called to me.

       “Hey, Jane! The MacDonald’s lights are on! One more house! Come on!”

“We have two pillowcases each!” I laughed but followed him back through the fence. When we got to their yard I dropped my things on the sidewalk and carried my lightest pillowcase up their front steps as my brother knocked.

      “Oh hello! Happy Halloween!,” Mrs. MacDonald said, putting Cheesies in our bags. She looked at me and said, “My aren't Halloween things getting realistic – that on your face looks so gross!”

       It took me no time to realize she was talking about my feeding tube. I turned and ran down the stairs willing the tears not to come. As I raced through the playground I could hear my brother yelling to me that I forgot my bags of treats but I didn't care. I did not stop until I hit my bed,  pushing past my questioning mother, letting the screen door slam behind me.

       I cried. I cried all night. I cried the next day. There wasn't anything anyone could say to make me feel better.  Over the years I never went out trick or treating on Halloween again. My mother just accepted how I felt and left well enough alone. Even all these years later, when I’m costume shopping and out trick or treating with my son, I’m still haunted by the ghost of that poor little girl who cried every time another missed Halloween came around.

Happy Halloween!

The two cutest treats I saw for Halloween this year! My cousins make beautiful babies! I had to share :) 

Cupcake CutiePie Taylor :)

  Little Red Riding Reese <3 

I hope you, your friends, and your kids had fun dressing up this year and braving a wet night of Trick Or Treating despite all this gross wind and rain from Hurricane Sandy. If you want to share some cool costumes that you saw this Halloween - or maybe even ones that you made yourself! - I'd love to see you post them on my Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/JaneSpringPage.